FRIENDS AND FAMILY often ask, “How are you doing?” Meaning, I take it, “How do you feel?” I am at a loss how to respond. There is that subterranean grief that won’t go away. It increases daily as the lights go out. I would be just as alone if I had never known her as she once was, but the loneliness of the night hours is because I did know her. Do I grieve for her loss or mine? Further, there is sorrow that it is increasingly difficult to meet her needs. Yet I guess friends are asking, not about