safety needs to be the priority. Joint counseling stops. Anything that signals to the oppressor that this is a shared problem will likely fuel more abuse. Additionally, oppressors are skilled manipulators that will work to co-opt the counseling process and use it to gain more power and control. Some can do this in subtle ways that are hard to detect. Do not give them the opportunity. Recommend individual counseling for the oppressor. Counseling for the oppressor should focus on the seven characteristics