So, people will come for help. It often helps us to remember that things may get worse before they get better, and it’s important to say that to couples, because the worse really isn’t worse, it’s just more real—that they’re being honest. They’ve retreated to positions that are very quiet, silent. Even if they’re angry, they’re actually quiet about what is going on. They’re not talking about what is going on, because they’re avoiding that much, that’s too much connection—what they feel in the relationship,