Spirit opens our eyes to the manifold ways in which we experience God’s love and hence can express love to our wives. Let’s look at some of the ways in which we can love our wives as Christ loves us. That is, not according to her performance. It is painful to think of how often my initiative, affection, encouragement, and care toward Betsy are conditional on her performance. If I’m pleased, I pursue. If I’m disap- pointed, I’m distant. Jesus didn’t wait for the church to rid itself