identified nine possible obstacles to listening. We miss the message if our minds are busy thinking up a rebuttal, excuse or exception to what our spouse is saying. There are a variety of defensive responses. Perhaps we reach a premature conclusion. “All right, I know just what you’re going to say. We’ve been through this before and it’s the same old thing.” We may read into our spouse’s words our own expectations or project onto him or her what we would say in the same situation. David