talking about marriage. He was talking about relationship—other people outside ourselves to bond with, trust, and go to for support. We are built for relationship. Attachment is the foundation of the soul’s existence. When this foundation is cracked or faulty, boundaries become impossible to develop. Why? Because when we lack relationship, we have nowhere to go in a conflict. When we are not secure that we are loved, we are forced to choose between two bad options: 1. We set limits and risk losing a relationship.