I began to believe that prayer would not make any difference, or it would not make any difference if I was the one doing the praying. For a while I believed that I just needed to pray louder or shed more tears. Later I began to believe that it was because God would not listen. I have finally come to believe that it was because I was trying to say Bettie’s prayers, not the ones I could say. When I first stumbled onto this way of participating in the life of prayer, this way of prayer I had unknowingly