The deficit thinker believes achievements make him somebody, and this is how he gains an identity for himself; what he does is what truly matters. However, it’s not possible for anyone to fill an identity void through achievements. We become ourselves only through relationships, first through knowing Christ and then through knowing those in and out of His family. As a result, the deficit thinker gets the exact opposite of what he is striving for, because he ends up with more emptiness than he had