SHATTERED PRAYERS

The Testing of a Father’s Faith

KENNETH CHING

Shattered Prayers: The Testing of a Father’s Faith

Copyright 2016 Kenneth Ching

Kirkdale Press, 1313 Commercial St., Bellingham, WA 98225

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Print ISBN 9781577997214

Digital ISBN 9781577997221

Kirkdale Editorial Team: Rebecca Brant, Lynnea Smoyer, Abigail Stocker

Cover Design: Micah Ellis

Back Cover Design: Brittany Schrock

To my teachers who told me I could write.

To my parents for their continuous belief in me.

To my friends for their support.

To Erin for more than I can say.

To the Father who gave his Son for my son.

PREFACE

This memoir is a true story, and I’ve tried to remember and write down all the details as accurately as possible. Of course, I’m sure I’ve forgotten and misremembered certain things, so I apologize for any facts I’ve gotten wrong. It wasn’t on purpose. I have changed some people’s names or concealed their identities whenever I thought a person might not want to be specifically identified.

This story isn’t about me presenting a picture of how a Christian should behave, think, or feel. Instead, I’ve tried to capture how I actually felt, thought, and behaved during this trial in my life. The main reason for this is that I hope other people who have been through or are currently going through similar trials will read this and see that they aren’t alone, and that the raw, messy, contradictory experiences of faith and suffering are shared by others. I would be happy if anyone who is struggling with life and faith looked me up on the Internet and contacted me so we can talk. I don’t have all the answers, but perhaps we have asked some of the same questions.

Another reason for writing this memoir is to show how God can meet us when we’re at our worst. Perhaps he is especially available to us when we’re at our worst. It’s the sick who need the Great Physician. It’s those in the darkness who need the Light. It’s when our wounds are raw that we need the Balm of Gilead. If we had all the answers, we wouldn’t need faith. If we had it all together, we wouldn’t need a Savior.

1

It’s a Friday evening in winter. A bloody sky looms over black mountains. Frost clings to my car windows, but it’s warm inside as I drive home from my law firm. I loosen my tie; I’m on my way to meet Erin, my wife. We’ll go to dinner—probably to Chili’s, where we’ll drink margaritas. She’ll eat grilled chicken, and I’ll eat shrimp. Then we’ll go to the movie theater downtown, by the river.

I’m listening to National Public Radio as I drive. The story is about people who lost their jobs during the recession. One woman says her husband used to make a good living in construction but now the bank is foreclosing on their home, and she doesn’t know ...