THE THING THAT WOULD MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY FOREVER

Transcendence, Psychedelics, and Jesus Christ

ASHLEY LANDE

The Thing That Would Make Everything Okay Forever:

Transcendence, Psychedelics, and Jesus Christ

Copyright 2024 Ashley Lande

Lexham Press, 1313 Commercial St., Bellingham, WA 98225

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Print ISBN 9781683597605

Digital ISBN 9781683597612

Lexham Editorial: Elliot Ritzema, Mandi Newell, Danielle Burlaga

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“Thorn, you weaponed loveliness,” I called up to her. “If I knew what kind of person could distinguish reality from unreality, I would follow that person to the ends of the galaxy.”

—R. A. Lafferty, Annals of Klepsis

Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of the truth listens to me.” “What is truth?” retorted Pilate.

John 18:37–38

CONTENTS

Prologue

Chapter 1: The First Taste Is Free

Chapter 2: Godless Light

Chapter 3: Initiation

Chapter 4: Glutting the Sensorium

Chapter 5: Darkness Risible

Chapter 6: Magical Love

Chapter 7: We’ve Got to Get Ourselves Back to the Garden

Chapter 8: With Gods Like This, Who Needs Demons?

Chapter 9: Through the Valley

Chapter 10: It Is Well with My Soul

Chapter 11: Tasting the Real Thing

Acknowledgments

PROLOGUE

The last time I ever tripped, I ate mushrooms I’d grown myself.

Like an anxious mother, I fretted over my spore jars, frequently checking the cabinet where they germinated in the secret dark until a web of snowy white began to crystallize against the glass. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the embryonic fungus proliferating like frost on a window: my manna. Mother Nature had provided.

I transferred the star-seeded soil to a Styrofoam cooler over which I hovered, checking every few hours, waiting for just the right time to harvest: when the mushrooms had grown an inch or two, their heads hooded like medieval monks and weaving toward the light on tender stalks, their caps poised to bloom into a gilled umbrella and drop an invisible rain of spores. I spread out my hands and blessed them with my scrambled patois of two-bit Sanskrit and new-age-inflected ...

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About The Thing that Would Make Everything Okay Forever: Transcendence, Psychedelics, and Jesus Christ

For years, psychedelics were my religion.

All I ever wanted was The Thing That Would Make Everything Okay Forever, the panacea, the cure for what plagued me. From those first moments when I tasted the earthy pulp of a psilocybin mushroom, it was love. Psychedelics were my sacrament. They shot me into cathedral vaults. The promise of eternal life through chemicals glittered seductively, but hid a yawning abyss.

The Thing That Would Make Everything Okay Forever tells my story of psychedelic devastation and spiritual rescue. It chronicles my trajectory from acid enthusiast to soul-weary druggie to psychedelic refugee. I finally found The Thing That Would Make Everything Okay Forever—in the last place I thought to look.

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