The Christian

Counselor’s

Manual

The Practice of

Nouthetic Counseling

Jay E. Adams

Zondervan

Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530

Copyright © 1973 by Jay E. Adams

Requests for information should be addressed to:

Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530

Library of Congress Cataloging–in–Publication Data

Adams, Jay Edward.

The Christian counselor’s manual.

p. cm.

(The Jay Adams library)

“Ministry resources library.”

Reprint. Originally published: Phillipsburg, N.J.: Presbyterian and Reformed Pub. Co., © 1973.

ISBN 0–310-51150-X

1. Pastoral counseling. I. Title. II. Series: Adams, Jay Edward. Jay Adams library.

BV401.2.2.A3 1986 253.5 86–5526

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Preface

This volume is designed to take its place next to Competent to Counsel as its complement, not as a replacement. The two may be used together as textbooks for college or seminary courses. Counselors will find that the reference section at the back of the book provides ready helps to pinpoint possible causes of and biblical solutions for the problems that they confront in the day-to-day work of counseling. Check lists for procedures, failure, etc., have been included to make the ready reference section more profitable. In addition, throughout the reader will find samples of various counseling materials. These may be reproduced by the counselor for use in actual counseling sessions.

I wish to express my deep gratitude to the Rev. William Varner of Willow Grove, Pennsylvania, for preparing the indexes.

Table of Contents

Preface

Introduction

Part One: The Persons

I. The Persons Involved in Counseling

Always More Than Two

At Least Three

II. The Holy Spirit Is the Principal Person

His Work Is Holiness

Christians Benefit from His Counsel

III. The Human Counselor

Who Should Counsel?

Counseling Is Ministerial

Qualifications for Counseling

Authority in Counseling

Counselors Must Be Directive

The Personality of the Counselor

IV. The Counselee

You Already Know a Lot

Sources of Knowledge

No Surprises Necessary

Solutions for Every Problem

What the Counselor Needs to Know

How Prior Knowledge Helps

Counselees Can Change

Part Two: The Presuppositions and Principles

V. Presuppositions and Principles Basic to Counseling

A Limited Number of Presuppositions and Principles

Life Must Have Meaning

Breakdowns

VI. Hope

Hope of Change

Everyone Needs Hope

Specific Problems Requiring Hope

How to Give Hope

VII. Prayer: The Base for Christian Counseling

VIII. The Reconciliation/Discipline Dynamic

The Three Steps

The Purposes and Benefits of Discipline

Where to Begin?

Marriage, Divorce, and the Reconciliation/Discipline Dynamic

IX. Reconciliation

A New Relationship

Forgive and ...