Mental Illness, Trauma, and the Death of Christ
JOHN ANDREW BRYANT
A Quiet Mind to Suffer With: Mental Illness, Trauma, and the Death of Christ
Copyright 2023 John Andrew Bryant
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Print ISBN 9781683597049
Digital ISBN 9781683597056
Library of Congress Control Number 2023930830
Lexham Editorial: Todd Hains, Jeff Reimer, Mandi Newell, Jessi Strong
Cover Design: Joshua Hunt
A Prayer in the Wilderness of Mental Illness
Foreword by Kathryn Greene-McCreight
We Proclaim the Mystery of Our Faith: The Word, the Way, and the Amen
Part I: Word and Understanding
Part III: Amen and Expectation
Christ Has Died: Out of the Realm of Ceaseless Cognition
Part I: Growing Up and Getting Worse
Part II: Entering the Psych Ward
Part III: Leaving the Psych Ward
Christ Is Risen: In the Wilderness of History and Affliction
Christ Will Come Again: At the Table with the Howling Boy
THE SIREN: the word for a mental illness, specifically obsessive-compulsive disorder. Also referred to as My Affliction, What’s Wrong, the Bully, the Accuser, and What Should Happen. A word for the mind’s painful, powerful intimidation.
THE REALM OF CEASELESS COGNITION: a term for excessive rumination, the network of compulsions that serve as a way to deal with the Siren. The four primary ones: figuring out, knowing for sure, defending myself, making things right. Also known as the Haunted House.
THE HARDNESS OF THE HEART: a term for my addiction to my dependence on myself. Also referred to as Sin and Life as I Would Have It and What I’ll Do to Be Okay. A blindness we cannot seem to get rid of.
A BODY THAT EXPECTS THE WORLD TO END: another term for trauma. Also referred to as What Could Happen, the way the Past lives in the body. A word for the body’s cringing, crying anticipation.
THE HOWLING BOY: a term for the soul’s anguish, despair, and unbearable dissatisfaction. The Howling Boy is the soul that has suffered History and Affliction, OCD and trauma.
PATIENT, QUIET UNDERSTANDING: a term for humility, and the trust I have in Christ.
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About A Quiet Mind to Suffer with: Mental Illness, Trauma, and the Death of ChristSuffering has been made holy by Christ’s proximity to it This is the story of Christ’s nearness to my own suffering—my mental breakdown, my journey to the psych ward, my long, slow, painful recovery—and how Christ will use even our agony and despair to turn us into servants and guests of the mercy offered in his gospel. We cannot answer suffering. And yet suffering demands an answer. If Jesus is the answer to suffering, what kind of answer is Jesus? Everything that could be taken from a person was taken from him. The worst things a person could be made to see and feel were seen and felt by Christ. All of this came to a point in the nails driven into his hands and became a word that cannot be unspoken—his body broken and his blood poured out for us. Suffering has been made holy by Christ’s proximity to it. |
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