lost gifts
Miscarriage, Grief, and the God of All Comfort
Brittany Lee Allen
Lost Gifts: Miscarriage, Grief, and the God of All Comfort
Copyright 2025 Brittany Lee Allen
Lexham Press, 1313 Commercial St., Bellingham, WA 98225 LexhamPress.com
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Print ISBN 9781683597988
Digital ISBN 9781683597995
Library of Congress Control Number 2024950422
Lexham Editorial: Rachel Joy Welcher, Todd Hains, Erin Mangum, Mandi Newell
Cover Design: Gabriel Eason
To James,
Through your steady love, God has healed many of the broken parts in me. Thank you for choosing me and holding my hand in the fires of this life.
To the babies I never met,
It was my joy to carry you all the days of your life. See you when I get home.
Contents
Lord, Does My Baby’s Life Matter?
Lord, Why Did You Take Our Baby?
3 The Gift of a Deepened Theology of Suffering
Lord, Is the Death of My Baby Good?
4 The Gift of Weakness in Light of Redemption
5 The Gift of Experiencing God’s Peace
Lord, I’m Afraid of the Future
6 The Gift of Our Good Shepherd
Lord, Your Goodness and Mercy Follow Me
Lord, If Your Word Was Not My Delight …
8 The Gift of Loving Your Husband through Loss
9 The Gift of Growing in Grace
Lord, Bless the Burden Bearers
11 The Gift of Compassion and Comfort toward Others
Lord, Bring Healing from My Grief
12 The Gift of Deeper Intimacy with Christ
Lord, You Are the Treasure above All Treasures
A Note to Pastors and Church Leaders
Walk with me behind the house
to the place
where zinnias grow.
It’s there where I first sowed
seeds of grief—
watching and waiting—
in the hand-tilled earth.
It was when they began to bloom
that I first felt death,
from within.
“There’s nothing there,” I heard myself whisper as tears gathered in my eyes. Contractions pulsed through my abdomen as the tech searched for my baby via internal ultrasound. I shook uncontrollably in a fury of anxiety and sadness as tears slid down my cheek and pooled in my ears. My friend held my hand, repeating the only words to be said at a time like this: “God loves you, Brittany. He loves you so much.”
I left the hospital that day with a heart so full of grief, there was no room left for more. But I was forced to make room, ...
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About Lost Gifts: Miscarriage, Grief, and the God of All ComfortGrief upon grief. I felt life perish from within my body three times. I had children, I just never got to hold them or know them or kiss them. My life looked no different from the outside. But inside, I was heartbroken and confused. Losing a baby in the womb is common, but that doesn’t make it any less painful. The grief of losing any child feels unbearComfortable. Lost Gifts: Miscarriage, Grief, and the God of All Comfort laments the grief of miscarriage, discovers God’s gifts in spite of loss, and remembers our Good Shepherd, who weeps with those who weep. When we suffer, we are invited into deeper communion with Jesus. In the pain of miscarriage, we learn to treasure our suffering Savior who holds us. |
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