LOVE AND RESPECT

Copyright © 2004 by Emerson Eggerichs.

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

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Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible (NASB), © 1960, 1977, 1995 by the Lockman Foundation.

Other Scripture quotations are taken from the following sources:

The King James Version of the Bible (KJV). The New King James Version (NKJV®), copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Holy Bible, English Standard Version™ (ESV) copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. All rights reserved. New International Reader’s Version (NIRV) copyright © 1996, 1998 by International Bible Society. All rights reserved worldwide. The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV). Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.

Cover Design: Charles Brock, UDG/Design Works, Inc.

Cover Photo: Steve Gardner/pixelworksstudio.net and photos.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Eggerichs, Emerson.
Love and respect : the love she most desires, the respect he desperately needs / by Emerson Eggerichs.
p. cm.
ISBN-10: 1-59145-187-6 (hardcover)
ISBN-13: 978-1-59145-187-7 (hardcover)
ISBN-10: 1-59145-417-4 (hardcover with DVD)
ISBN-13: 978-1-59145-417-5 (hardcover with DVD)
ISBN-10: 1-59145-246-5 (IE)
ISBN-13: 978-1-59145-246-1 (IE)

1. Spouses—Religious life. 2. Love—Religious aspects—Christianity. 3. Respect—Religious aspects—Christianity. I. Title.
BV4596.M3E34 2001
248.8'44—dc22

2004013768

07 08 09 10 11 RRD 18 17 16 15 14


To Sarah, the love of my life
who has made the writing of this book so much easier.

Lord, Your Word calls a husband to
“Enjoy life with the woman whom you love” (Ecclesiastes 9:9).

I have since 1973.
I do right now.
I forever will.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Introduction: Love Alone Is Not Enough

PART ONE: THE CRAZY CYCLE

1. The Simple Secret to a Better Marriage

2. To Communicate, Decipher the Code

3. Why She Won’t Respect; Why He Won’t Love

4. What Men Fear Most Can Keep the Crazy Cycle Spinning

5. She Fears Being a Doormat; He’s Tired of “Just Not Getting It”

6. She Worries about Being a Hypocrite; He Complains, “I Get No Respect!”

7. She Thinks She Can’t Forgive Him; He Says, “Nobody Can Love That Woman!”.

PART TWO: THE ENERGIZING CYCLE...

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About Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

Come discover one of the greatest secrets to a successful relationship! Love & Respect is A New York Times?best-selling marriage book making a difference with over two million copies sold! Help you and your spouse achieve a deeper level of intimacy by stopping the crazy cycle of conflict, developing better communication skills, and enjoying renewed passion. 

Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It's the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find. While both men and women deserve both love and respect, in the midst of conflict the driving need for a woman is love and the driving need for a man is respect. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy.

Based on over three decades of counseling, as well as scientific and biblical research, Love and Respect is for anyone: those in marital crisis, the happily married, engaged couples, pastors and counselors, and small groups. This dynamic and life-changing message is impacting the world, resulting in the healing and restoration of countless relationships.

In Love & Respect couples can find:

• How to break down the communication code between spouses

• How to handle conflict in a relationship

• How to build respect for one another

• How to foster a deep love for one another

• How to rekindle passion for one another

Taking God’s biblical practice of marriage and applying it with practical techniques, Emerson Eggerichs shows how mutual Love and Respect can balance a marriage and encourage a successful relationship.

Pair Love & Respect?with the Love & Respect Workbook for Couples, Individuals, and Groups for an added experience and to dig deeper into your relationship and foster understanding with your partner. Love & Respect?is also available in Spanish, Amor y Respeto.

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Table of Contents